43 weeks in Arizona. Finishing the 52HikeChallenge. Finishing my 3rd travel contract. Life is so good. I am so thankful!
1411. “I am in prison because I belong to the Lord. Therefore I urge you who have been chosen by God to live up to the life to which God called you.” Ephesians 4:1 NCV
1413. Hike 49 with some good hiking buddies.
1414. “God once said, “Let the light shine out of the darkness!” This is the same God who made his light shine in our hearts by letting us know the glory of God that is in the face of Christ.” 2 Corinthians 4:6 NCV
1415. I get a bonus day off tomorrow.
1416. I get a bonus hike tomorrow.
1417. “Be alert. Continue strong in the faith. Have courage, and be strong. Do everything in love.” 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 NCV
1418. New trails.
1419. early morning hiking.
1420. “The LORD is good. His love is forever, and his loyalty goes on and on.” Psalms 100:5 NCV
1421. Monsoon season has begun.
1422. Last call shift for now.
1423. “Show respect for all people: Love the brothers and sisters of God’s family, respect God, honor the king.” 1 Peter 2:17 NCV
1424. The privilege of being a mom.
1425. When you have just enough fluid to do the drug screen.
1426. “The yes to all of God’s promises is in Christ, and through Christ we say yes to the glory of God.” 2 Corinthians 1:20 NCV
1427. Last day turned into a bonus day off.
1428. Bonus day off turned into a bonus hike.
1429. “Remember that I commanded you to be strong and brave. Don’t be afraid, because the LORD your God will be with you everywhere you go.”” Joshua 1:9 NCV
1430. Finished the 52HikeChallenge!
1431. Fax machines to request back country permits for the Grand Canyon.
I don’t like this word, expect. This word gets me into more trouble than other words. Particularly with people I don’t know well. When I expect things to be a certain way, when I expect people to be a certain way, I am really forcing my will upon them. I set impossibly high standards for others that I can’t even attain to myself. So when others miss my high mark I am all kinds of disappointed in them because they let me down.
It’s not right or even a little bit fair.
As the old saying goes, there’s more than one way to skin a cat. So I decided some time ago to throw expectations out the window and let people be who God made them to be, loving them ‘as is’, leaving the expectations to him.
I have so far to go to reach the generosity standard I’ve set for myself. It’s a good goal I may never attain, but I believe I should not give up trying to reach.
For example; I had my last call shift at work yesterday. I ended up having to stay for a few extra hours. I kept telling myself I was staying for the Lord as I actually got more and more frustrated, my brain going for the murderous thoughts it regularly seems to go to: He’s the worst charge nurse ever! Why is he doing it this way? He’s going to regret his decisions one of these days! Not one single generous thought in my head.
Oh wretch that I am. At one point, I was in the restroom grumbling to the Lord. Why are you trying to kill me Lord? Yes it was that dramatic.
When the day finally ended, I felt extra bad as I watched the man in charge break down because a patient was dying in room 12 and he was blaming himself. And I have to wonder, why does it take something bad happening to make my heart pour out generous? Particularly when it’s toward someone I don’t necessarily like? Where is my compassion for a co-worker when he’s just trying to get by like the rest of us?
The last thing I did before leaving for the day was console the charge nurse, telling him he did the best he could with the information he had, all the while being convicted by the very words coming out of my mouth. I am NOT God. I DON’T know all the things happening in any given moment. I don’t know the motivations of anyone, not even myself. In that last moment of a long day, I felt very small for my childish behavior. It was a Job moment. I sincerely hope I don’t forget it. But I’m also grateful that the Lord will. Because he is perfectly generous.
Sharing with Lyli.