Thankful_February 23_March 1

And just like that, it’s March!
I have to tell you I am not good at waiting. I sent my application for an Arizona nursing license out just over a week ago. I know they received the application because they processed the fee. 🙂 Now the waiting game begins. I have a love/hate relationship with the ability to track stuff. On the one hand, you can see exactly where your stuff is, but on the other hand, it’s like waiting for a pot to boil or paint to dry. Even in this, God is teaching patience. And I am thankful. It’s my one word for 2015.
160. Riding my bicycle today without a jacket for the first time in weeks.
161. Lamenting for a friend who is slowly losing her sight and for another for the loss of a child.
162. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul sure and strong. Hebrews 6:19
163. Behold I send an angel before you to guard you on the way and to bring you to the place that I have prepared. Exodus 23:20
164. That my #1 son is so loving that he told me to reach out to my friend who is losing her sight to invite her to come and live with us because we love her.
165. That my friend Will consider the invitation!
166. Dreaming of sunrise and sunset from a new horizon.
167. Riding my bike this morning, I smelled wood Burning, which led to dreaming of living in a new land where winter is more tangible and campfires sound so appealing.
168. Search me oh God and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139: 23–24
169. That the Arizona board of nursing has received my application in a timely fashion!
170. That my #1 son is going to be coming to stay with me until we make the big move!
171. Discovering that our future home has a crazy weather phenomenon called a haboob!
172. That I get to do Life with some really awesome people.
173. Sitting around, discussing current events with my #1 son.
174. In just one more week I will have a companion and a roommate!
175. Breakfast with a sweet friend, catching up on life.
176. Being surprised to find out another sweet friend is in town when you knew she was coming to town but somehow forgot anyway.
177. Being encouraged by all the things God is doing in the lives of the people I love.
178. A day off with all the glorious possibilities.
179. A new month and all that lays ahead, good or bad.
180. Blessed be the Lord for he has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield, and him my heart trusts and I am helped. My heart exults and with my song I give thanks to him. Psalm 28: 6–7
Happy Sunday!

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transformed by renewing my mind_day 30

lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern.
“widespread apathy among students”
synonyms: indifference, lack of interest, lack of enthusiasm, lack of concern, unconcern, uninterestedness, unresponsiveness, impassivity, dispassion, lethargy, languor, ennui; rare acedia
“widespread apathy among the voters”

I’m in the thick of it, stuck in the muck and mire of something undefinable, waiting for my enthusiasm, interest to return.

Maybe it’s because of the season? We’re coming to the end of the year. The harvesting is nearly finished. The clocks are “falling behind” this weekend. The days are getting shorter. I’ve always wished I were a bear so I could crawl into a cave for the winter and hibernate. It just seems like such a lovely idea.

So I wait for God to infuse my heart with springtime joy. I know He will. It’s just a matter of time.

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

This is day 30 of #Write31Days. Sharing @ Thought Provoking Thursdays.

All posts can be found here.

He never stopped waiting for me

Monday, March 3, 1980 dawned, the day of the open heart surgery, the day that would turn my world upside down. I tried once again to get mom to let me skip school and come to the hospital. She stubbornly refused, driving another wedge between us, making 16 year old, immature, misunderstanding me despise her a little bit more.

I wandered from class to class that day. My physical presence in attendance but my mind with my father in the operating room. Mom promised to call the minute surgery was finished. The minutes ticked by excruciatingly slowly.

The call never came. I knew he was dead, just knew it. When at last I was released from the captivity of highschool, I raced home to the neighbor watching my little sister. Still no news. Defeated, I went home to wait with my little brother.

The phone rang. Finally, we were summoned to the hospital. Who called you? I asked the neighbor. A chaplain. My heart sank.

We arrived to the waiting room. I could see mom had been crying. Everyone who loved dad was there. The waiting continued. For 3 more hours.

Then the surgeon appeared. We did everything we could think of. Heart not strong enough. Couldn’t come off bypass. Tears streamed from his eyes.

I watched myself slide down the wall to the floor, wailing.

That night I raised my fists and voice to God. I will never speak to you again! How could you do this to us!? Don’t you know he’s the only one who loved me!?

I didn’t speak to God again for 26 years. 26 years. Oh I’d run to Him in desperation when I was in trouble. But why would He answer my prayers then? I constantly mocked Him, told people He wasn’t real.

But you know what? He never left me. He was always waiting for me, like the father of the prodigal son.

And when I finally came to my senses like the prodigal son, I had the faintest glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe if I was sorry enough, God would take me back.

And like the father of the prodigal son, God didn’t wait for me to grovel. He drew me inch by painful inch back into His loving embrace. All my sins completely forgiven. All my sins thrown into the deepest sea never to be looked at again.

Perfect faithful waiting God. Creator of the universe. King of kings. Lord of lords. Never gave up. Never lost hope. Waited for me. Me.

His… Michelle

Linking with Jennifer Dukes Lee 4 #TellHisStory