five minute friday_hold

Transitions are hard.

My brain has been on an emotional roller coaster for so long, I’ve been so used to the ups and downs of my moods that this new stability feels more than a little strange.

Is it weird that I actually find myself a little bit sad that my moods have stabilized? That I miss the adrenaline rush I got from my anxiety?

What am I to do?

I will hold fast to the Lord, believing he knows what he’s doing, that he has a plan, for my good, for his glory

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

I’m linking up with  Five Minute Friday,  Spiritual Sundays.


why the last supper matters

I’m participating in a great Bible study with friends on Facebook from Good Morning Girls. It’s a 4 week study about why Easter matters. Above is today’s scripture. Below are my thoughts.

So years ago, I took a quiz to see what gifts of the Spirit I have. My number one gift is mercy. And I am merciful… To the sick, outcast, poor people of the world. As an OR nurse, I serve all day long. I seem to be filled with so much compassion for my patients. But the co workers? This is where I fall short daily. I know what I should do. I know how I should be. I am better than I used to be, but I still have a long way to go in serving sacrificially. I praise God everyday for not treating me the way I deserve to be treated. I’m so thankful for His mercy toward me.

His… Michelle

chasing superlatives

— adjective

of the highest kind, quality, or order; surpassing all else or others; supreme; extreme: superlative wisdom.
Grammar . of, pertaining to, or noting the highest degree of the comparison of adjectives and adverbs, as smallest, best, and most carefully, the superlative forms of small, good, and carefully. Compare comparative(def 4), positive(def 20).
being more than is proper or normal; exaggerated in language or style.

— noun

a superlative person or thing.
the utmost degree; acme.
Grammar .
the superlative degree.
a form in the superlative.

Ironically, there could not be a more common human behavior. Though India might be embracing a unique path to superlatives, (Guiness Book of World Records) the road to noteworthy is one of the oldest, most well-traveled paths in the world. We are constantly about the work of distinguishing ourselves from whatever crowd we find ourselves standing in. From increased interests in book-writing and extreme sports, to becoming one of reality television’s idols, aspirations to be the fastest or the richest or the greatest are nothing new. Jill Carattini

I don’t know about you, but I have definitely fallen into this trap, always chasing the thing that will make me stand out, be noticed, be seen, be affirmed.

I look for it on this blog. Since I left the ship two weeks ago, the reader traffic to my blog has dropped significantly and I confess, it bothers me more than it should. Why do I care how many people read this blog? Why is it always about popularity for me? What is it inside me that needs affirmation so badly?

Sometimes I wonder if I should just give up the blog altogether, like I gave up alcohol and cigarettes? Is the blog an addiction I replaced those other addictions with? I don’t think it is. But I shouldn’t feel bad when the readership decreases either.

Maybe the folks at WordPress could just take away that dreaded stats button altogether. If I don’t know who’s reading from where or how often, it just wouldn’t matter at all. Blogging shouldn’t be a popularity contest.

What do you think about this? Do you experience similar feelings or I’m I the only person on the planet who is this insecure?

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

P.S. today is my bloggiversary. Apparently, I’ve been blogging with WordPress for 6 years. They sent me a happy little anniversary message. 😀