transformed by renewing my mind_day 26

It’s a gorgeous day here in South Florida. The air is cool. The sun is shining. I’ve been to church. The day is set before me. I’m trying to choose between a long scooter ride up the coast or the five minute walk to sit under a palm tree to gaze upon the beauty of the ocean.

One week ago I gave up that awful medication that someone foolishly thought was a good thing. The last 3 days have been great. I feel like me again. I don’t even think I care that I’m back to sleeping fewer hours. They’re uninterrupted at least.

This mind renewal thing has me thinking more than ever I have got to start focusing more on others and less on myself. The vertical grace of God is His one way love for me, unconditional acceptance, adoption into His family so I can focus on horizontal grace for others, loving them, sacrificing for them, to do good works for them.

That’s what I’m thinking about today.

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

This is day 26 of #Write31Days. Also sharing with the folks at The Weekend Brew.

All posts can be found here.

transformed by renewing my mind_day 21

It’s a good news/bad news situation.

The good news? I’m going to stop taking this dreadful medication and start from scratch.

The bad news? I’m going to stop taking this dreadful medication and start from scratch.

It’s a win win in my book. I can’t take one more day of feeling the way I’ve been feeling. I was swirling down the drain faster and faster as each day passed.

I’m even optimistic that what little good this medicine did will remain and I’ll feel better and better. Who knows, maybe it gave my brain the reboot it needed and I’ll feel great for awhile?

At least I know what kind of person I am when I’m drug free. Awake, alert, oriented. Even on my lowest days, I held onto Jesus and knew it wouldn’t last.

I guess the saga of my poor brain continues for now.

Back to the drawing board!

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

This is day 21 of #Write31Days. Also sharing at SDG Gathering and Salt+Light.

All posts can be found here.

transformed by renewing my mind_day 20

I miss joy. I miss excitement. I miss contentment.

I don’t feel like doing anything. Everyday, I seem to be dragging myself through the motions of life.

When will it end?

How long will this keep going on?

I feel so blah.

I’m so tempted to stop taking this medication, to go back to the extreme emotions of before just so I can feel something other than this.

But I don’t miss the pressure build up in my brain that makes me feel like my head might explode. I don’t miss freaking out over normal daily stresses of my job and life. I don’t miss waking up multiple times at night to look at the clock.

Maybe I’m overreacting? Maybe I need to call the doctor this week and see if she can add a little something else to this prescription cocktail? Or maybe I should just go back to being my unmedicated, crazy self, good, bad, and ugly?

I’m starting to wonder if there is really any hope for my poor brain.

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

This is day 20 of #Write31Days.

All posts can be found here.