Thankful_February 6_[FMF]_Keep

I’m so thankful I can incorporate my one word, thankful, into my favorite Friday activity – Five Minute Friday, which I confess takes longer than five minutes for me because I’m a deep slow thinker, but only takes five minutes to read. That counts, right? This week, the word is keep.

GO

109. Open the gates, that the righteous nation that keeps faith may enter in. You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock. Isaiah 26:2-4

110. The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Numbers 6:24–26

111. That the Lord of all creation keeps me, loves me, pours mercy upon me, when what I really deserve is wrath, astounds me every single time I think of it, which is every single time I read his Word, which is every single day, which is why I need to be in the Word every single day.

STOP

Let’s keep Friday happy!

Thankful_January 11

This year my one word is thankful I have lived far too long to keep focusing on the things I don’t have when all I have to do is look around to see the beautiful gifts right in front of my face! So that’s it! 2015 will be a year of thankful!

3 Yellow Gifts Of Fresh Mercy

31. Daniel’s vision of the angel in Chapter 10 who mercifully comes to explain how the Lord will one day make things right ~

On the twenty-fourth day of the first month, I was standing beside the great Tigris River. While standing there, I looked up and saw a man dressed in linen clothes with a belt of fine gold wrapped around his waist. His body was like shiny yellow quartz. His face was bright like lightning, and his eyes were like fire. His arms and legs were shiny like polished bronze, and his voice sounded like the roar of a crowd.

11 The man in the vision said to me, “Daniel, God loves you very much. Think carefully about the words I will speak to you, and stand up, because I have been sent to you.”

19 He said, “Daniel, don’t be afraid. God loves you very much. Peace be with you. Be strong now; be courageous.”

32. The horses in Revelation 9 are from the fearful day of the Lord when He will mercifully come to make all things right again ~

13 Then the sixth angel blew his trumpet, and I heard a voice coming from the horns on the golden altar that is before God. 14 The voice said to the sixth angel who had the trumpet, “Free the four angels who are tied at the great river Euphrates.” 15 And they let loose the four angels who had been kept ready for this hour and day and month and year so they could kill a third of all people on the earth. 16 I heard how many troops on horses were in their army—two hundred million.

17 The horses and their riders I saw in the vision looked like this: They had breastplates that were fiery red, dark blue, and yellow like sulfur. The heads of the horses looked like heads of lions, with fire, smoke, and sulfur coming out of their mouths. 18 A third of all the people on earth were killed by these three terrible disasters coming out of the horses’ mouths: the fire, the smoke, and the sulfur. 19 The horses’ power was in their mouths and in their tails; their tails were like snakes with heads, and with them they hurt people.

33. The breastplate made with gemstones from Exodus 28 reminds me of how mercifully he holds us right next to his heart, helps us to make right decisions ~

15 “Make a chest covering to help in making decisions. The craftsmen should make it as they made the holy vest, using gold and blue, purple and red thread, and fine linen. 16 The chest covering must be square—nine inches long and nine inches wide—and folded double to make a pocket. 17 Put four rows of beautiful gems on the chest covering: The first row must have a ruby, topaz, and yellow quartz; 18 the second must have turquoise, a sapphire, and an emerald; 19 the third must have a jacinth, an agate, and an amethyst; 20 the fourth must have a chrysolite, an onyx, and a jasper. Put gold around these jewels to attach them to the chest covering. 21 There must be twelve jewels on the chest covering—one jewel for each of the names of the sons of Israel. Carve the name of one of the twelve tribes on each of the stones as you would carve a seal.

29 “When Aaron enters the Holy Place, he will wear the names of the sons of Israel over his heart, on the chest covering that helps in making decisions. This will be a continual reminder before the Lord. 30 And put the Urim and Thummim inside the chest covering so that they will be on Aaron’s heart when he goes before the Lord. They will help in making decisions for the Israelites. So Aaron will always carry them with him when he is before the Lord.

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

Thankful to share with Sunday Stillness and Give Me Grace

 

the one about my marriage (pt 2)

(These next bits are not for the faint of heart. They are not easy to write about. They are intensely personal. Please forgive me if I do not respond to any comments. I will not elaborate on any more than what is written. Thank you for understanding.)

You never really know someone until you live under the same roof.

March 1985. Five years after he died. I discovered I was pregnant. Somehow I knew the child would be a boy I would name Robert in memory of him. I wished he would have blue eyes and blond hair, secretly thinking it would never happen because we have brown eyes and brown hair. But a girl can dream, right?

May 1985. I graduated from college. I quickly packed up my life, moved to Dover, Delaware into a tiny trailer with the man I married the previous year, only visiting him on weekends up until this point.

The verbal sword matches began immediately. Oh I’m great with a sword of sarcasm, accusation, nagging. He was skilled in telling me how stupid, awful, useless I was.

June 1985. The trailer was too tiny. We found a small house to rent on the other side of town.

He played in a dart league on the USAF base. We’d go. I’d watch. He’d get drunk. I’d drive home. Repeat.

Accept this one time while I was driving us home, he didn’t like my skills. He took it upon himself to bend over, push the gas peddle to the floor as I screamed for him to stop, somehow keeping that car from careening off the road or into other cars. This is when the real terror began. I was 4 months pregnant?

November 1985. 8 months pregnant. A card game with the neighbors ends. He’s drunk. Really drunk. I’m not throwing the right cards. Suddenly, he goes berserk. Starts screaming at me. I scream back. Next thing I know he picks me up off the floor, throws me into the wall, and I crash to the floor (he is 6 ft 2, 210lbs. I am 5 ft 0, 8 months pregnant).

Terrified, I run to the back of the house. Why I didn’t run for the front door I’ll never know. It didn’t take long for him to find me in the dark back room, to rape me, to pull me up off the floor and violently shove me out the front door.

Crying hysterically, I climbed into our only car. I told myself I couldn’t leave. How would he get to work the next day? He would get into so much trouble if he didn’t show up for work. I replayed the scene over and over. It must have been my fault. I was too demanding, too nagging, too unsupportive. I hoped my child wasn’t dead. He didn’t move for a very long time, obviously stunned into a fearful stillness of his own.

I went back into the house after spending the night in that car. He acted like nothing ever happened, no remorse, no apology, only silence as he dressed in his uniform, went out the front door.

December 1985. The boy I wished for was born on Christmas Eve. He had blond peach fuzzy hair, blue eyes, a gift from the God I was refused to believe existed, who never left me even in my anger, protected me, my unborn child because of His goodness, mercy, and grace for a lost soul.

To be continued…

His… Michelle
Philippians1:20