December 28

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Dear God,
It’s the day after the day after the day after Christmas. I am feeling blue. The little kid has gone home to northern Florida. The big kid is down the road. I am alone again. The Christmas season is so full of build up, so full of awesome, it’s really hard when you reach the day after. Like a switch, it’s turned off. I find it particularly hard because my kids are 2 of the best friends You have ever given me. And we had a really good time this week. SO now what do I do? How do I get the joy back that I was so full of just a few days ago? You know me God. I don’t have much motivation to reach out to my friends when I get like this. I need you. You’re the only One who truly gets me. Give me the strength to get up and push forward. I’m tired of getting stuck in sadness. I love you so much! Thank you for coming!
Love,
me

Ready For The Transition To Be Complete

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Linking up with Spiritual Sundays

I’ve been in Congo for 44 days. I’ve been back on the ship for 158 days, almost 6 months. I’m ready for the transition to be complete. I’m ready to be smiling and having fun most days. I’m ready to stop being homesick. I’m ready to stop being depressed. I’m ready and yet I’m still here.

I’m still homesick, particularly when I get a text from a boy saying I miss you! I can’t handle the I miss you texts. They break my heart. I’m trying so hard to keep a stiff upper lip, hanging on by a thread, and then the text comes. I dissolve into a flood of tears.

When will this sadness leave? How long will it take? I feel really stuck. I would really like to have a day filled with laughter. One. Whole. Day. Is that too much to ask for?

I can’t even stand my own ramblings. How can I inflict myself on others?

How long God?

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

Weekends Are Hard

Sitting on the front side of ten months, I find myself wondering, What was I thinking? I’ve been back for exactly 23 days. All I want to do today is go home.

Weekends are the hardest. I have too much time on my hands. I came to serve the Lord. I know I need to have time to recharge, but how? How am I supposed to do this without seeing my people for ten more months? I don’t know how I’m going to do this?

Every time I step out the door of my cabin, I’m reminded of where I am not. I’m trying so hard not to feel sorry for myself. I know the people here appreciate me for who I am. I am praying. I am having regular time with the Lord everyday. I’m doing everything I know to do…

There’s just this deep longing to be re-attached to the ones who’ve known me all their lives. They’re my missing pieces. I miss them so much.

I’d appreciate your prayers. I hope this will get better with time. God knows.

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

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