Generous_March10

The first step in being generous is being willing to be generous. I believe in the Lord’s perfect timing. He’s so kind and merciful and gentle. When I became his adopted daughter, he didn’t force me to change a thing. He just keeps gently nudging me in the right direction. He stands behind me, encouraging me. And when he knows I’m ready for something, he drops it in my lap, even when I’m not sure if I’m ready. 

After 10 years of relationship with my Lord, he’s nudged me toward generous. Not the monetary kind. But the self kind. I always think it’s funny how I ended up being a nurse. It takes a certain amount of generosity to be in this profession. But it’s always been okay. I developed a very thick skin. It’s a level of serving that has pretty defined starting and stopping points. I only have to be generous for x amount of hours x amount of days per week. My formula makes for limited generosity. 

But with Jesus, there are really no halfways. There are many grey areas in life, but Jesus is an all in kind of man. So the whole generous thing has just gotten more real. The Lord is leading me into deeper water. And I am following him because I know he can make me walk on the waves. Life is getting sweeter by the minute and I’m so very thankful and wonder how anyone could love me so much or any better?

Happy Thursday!

Sharing with Lyli.

Generous_March3

36 years. On this day, 36 years ago, my dad passed away. It still ranks as the hardest day of my life. And the amazing and mind blowing thing to me is that it was a hard day for the Lord as well. It’s the day I told him I would never speak to him again. I told him I didn’t believe he was real. 

But God is so generous. In my distress, he never left me. Even though I ignored him for 26 years. Even when I tried to use him in that *genie in a bottle* way people use him. He is so generous that he timed my study today to speak specifically to how he is with me in my distress.

“The cords of death encompassed me; the torrents of destruction assailed me; the cords of Sheol entangled me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called upon the Lord; to my God I cried for help. From his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears.” ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭18:4-6‬ ‭ESV‬‬

When I read the last line, I read In my distress I should have called upon the Lord; to my God I should have cried for help. And even though I did neither of those things  from his temple he heard my voice, and my cry to him reached his ears. 

Is there anyone on earth who will love me better or so generously?

Dear God, thank you for the man who was my dad here on earth. Thank you for the 16 years I got to have him. It wasn’t much time but it was more time than some people will ever have. He was a good dad and I pray he is with you in heaven that I may be reunited with him again. Comfort my brother, sister, and mother on this day as they also remember his life. And since they don’t know you the way I do, I would also humbly ask you to not give up on them either. I trust you with their lives the way I trust you with mine. I love you Jesus. Amen

Celebrate Thursday generously!

Sharing with Lyli.

Generous_February25

It’s a funny thing how people grow up and develop. We all have stuff we’ve been exposed to. We all face tragedy, heartache, and heartbreak. So why does one person fixate on the bad while another latches on to the good?

For some reason I don’t understand to this day, I was one who focused on all the bad. I always saw the glass half empty. I’m guessing I learned this behavior from the adults in my life, who learned it from the adults in their lives. 

As years went by, I absorbed all the wrongs done to me. And with every wrong, I built a wall. I built the wall so high that eventually, my heart was nearly impenetrable. There was no more generosity in me. Like the grinch, my heart shrank to the size of a pea. I was so into preserving myself, I had nothing to give to anyone. Not friends. Barely family. Barely my own boys. 

The trouble with building the wall was I found myself so lonely I wanted to die. 

And then Jesus broke through! Light had found a way into my heart. Love rescued me, is rescuing me. 

I’ve been walking with the Lord for 10 years. Every year the wall goes down a little bit more. It’s being pulled down bit by bit. And for the first time in 52 years, I’m learning what it means to live a generous life. Risking the wounds. Risking the heartache that I was so determined to keep myself safe from. And it is good. And there are new friends. And there is life. Abundant life.  

“It is well with the man who deals generously and lends; who conducts his affairs with justice.”‭‭Psalm‬ ‭112:5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Happy Thursday!