I seriously wish I could figure out how to navigate the world of parenting adult children.
I used to have such open communication with my younger boy. He used to tell me everything. I mean even stuff I didn’t want to know, delicate things a boy should only tell his dad. Sadly, his dad disappeared from his life many years ago. So I was his only go to parent.
I don’t think ours was a healthy relationship. He relied on me for certain things. I relied on him for certain things.
When he moved away to go to school and start his life, we had a major communication breakdown.
Phone calls are no longer fun. All of a sudden the openness is gone, replaced by uncomfortable, awkward silences where I ask are you there?
He tells me he doesn’t like to tell me hard things anymore because I cry. He hates when I cry. I tell him I cry because that’s just the way my brain works.
I tell him I hate telling him hard things because he goes silent. Silence for me = rejection. It’s what my mom used to do. This leads to me harping, nagging, begging for a sign of life, anything to let me know he still loves me despite my massive flaws.
And so it goes. In my mind, it all blows up into a catastrophic mess. Fear of rejection leads me to jump through any hoop put in front of me.
I need to change.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different outcome. Said by someone.
Had my first counseling session yesterday. Trusting God to make all things new.
Linking with Lyli @3dlessons4life.