Thankful_July27_August2

It’s been an amazing first week in Arizona! I am so thankful! It’s my word for 2015.

7/27

532. Got an extra day off due to a technical difficulty. Woohoo!

533. Biked to Papago (pronounced papa-go) Park to see the famous hole in the rock formation. Very cool.

534. Everything is unpacked and put away and the maintenance guys came and fixed the three things that needed fixing. Woohoo!

7/28

535. I get to drive opposite of rush hour traffic to go to the new hospital.

536. Saw my first hummingbird. Prairie dogs. Quail. And a rabbit stampede.

537. The nurse manager never got confirmation of my arrival so she was super surprised to see me and thankfully very happy as well considering I drove 2500 miles to get here!

5/29

538. I have internet again!

539. They have Starbucks in the lobby! And a cafeteria with actual tasty food! So far, everyone has been very nice.

540. Saw a river/canal with actual water flowing in it.

7/30

541. Establishing a new routine.

542. Finishing all 53 online inservices in 2 days. Getting my badge to open doors.

543. Being on a shift that matches my internal clock.

5/31

544. Saw my first haboob (dust storm)!!!

545. People here think a thunderstorm is a monsoon. Hahahaha!

546. Got to meet my newest baby cousin Riley Emmerson Mader AND reunite with her sweet and gracious mama, Jessica!

8/1

547. Free bus ride to the airport leading to a free sky train ride to the light rail which is only 1 mile from my new home.

548. Affordable car rentals thanks to Priceline and USAA.

549. Bird feeders and baths and a patio to put them on.

8/2

550. Riding in a new city. Along a canal. Downtown.

551. Figuring out how to incorporate my bike riding into my day by discovering a shower at work and a train I can take at the end of the day.

552. Discovering a church on my bike ride this morning. Not too big. Not too small. Just right. Just like the Lord knew what I was looking for. Because he knew. Because he is so good!

Happy Sunday!

transformed by renewing my mind_day 5

I’m visiting my favorite younger son in Gainesville. The weekend would not be complete without visiting his church.

They’re currently in a 3 month series studying John 15. Talk about diving deep! For 3 weeks they’ve been focused on vs 1-7.

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 Already  you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine;  you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. 7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

The pastor made the following point —

Words have power. What you meditate on moves your life whether you realize it or not.

Then he defined meditation in a way that really helped me understand the word like never before.

When we learn the words of a song we like we are meditating on that song.

When we read an email over and over, dissecting it word by word, trying to discover what the writer was really trying to communicate, we are meditating on that email.

I, for one, am guilty of this behavior. I never fully understood what I was doing when someone would say something critical to me and I would just play it over and over in my mind.

That meditation would move me in a very negative direction, toward deeper, darker places in my mind until I found myself despairing.

For some of us, chemical balance is a very delicate business. I find it to be circular. My brain is lacking in certain chemicals which leads to being easily angry, sad which leads to more depletion of said chemicals which leads to even more anger, sadness and so on and so on. It’s a cycle that’s hard to break.

I think this is why Jesus is so emphatic about abiding in Him and how I will be able to renew, rewire my mind.

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

This is day 5 in #Write31Days. Also linked up @The Weekend Brew.

All posts can be found here.

the battle between reality and imagination…

I’ve been really struggling to go to church lately. This has been going on for weeks. I told one of my friends a few weeks ago I am just too mean for church. The greeters are killing me. I get to church and just cringe when I see the greeters with their big smiles waiting to greet me. Why? I literally do everything I can to get around the greeters and sneak into the sanctuary. What’s up with that?

I’m also struggling with the moment when they ask me to greet my neighbor. I just don’t know or understand what’s going on? Truth be told, this has been going on sporadically since the day I became a Christian. But lately, it seems out of control. I’m fine all week long, but when it comes time to get in church, I have to drag myself there. Watch it online? No problem. Show up in the building? Big battle.

I cried through the whole worship today because I felt terrible. I’m surrounded by all these shiny, happy people and I’m angry? I don’t want to be like this. I feel like it’s that old Michelle rising up in me and I don’t know how to beat her into submission. I’m not that person anymore, but lately, she’s trying to rise up.

After the service, I went up for prayer. It’s got to be a spiritual battle. It’s got to be the lies and schemes of the devil. But why do I forget this so easily? I just can’t seem to figure it out. Please pray for me to take my thoughts captive. I need to take my thoughts captive. The enemy has lost the war. I can’t let him win the battle. He’s defeated in Jesus’ name!

His… Michelle