five minute friday_new_day 3

A couple of weeks ago, I had a conversation with my oldest favorite son in which he told me I was terribly miserable the first 2 years we lived in Florida.

So I’ve turned my mind back to those days to examine that time period.

The first year we lived in Florida, I was still doing life on my own, making the hole I had been digging for 26 years deeper.

But the second year? I met the Lord the second year. I became a new person the second year?

I was on an emotional high the second year, at least in my own mind.

The more I dig into those memories, the more I know what my boy said is true. I was definitely new in the sense I was newly sober, newly excited about life, newly seeking everything to know about this amazing God who would take me back.

To the outside world who didn’t know me, I was probably pretty tip top. But to the boys who lived under my roof? They were very happy I was sober, but now I was sober, no longer fun. Sober meant I was back in the dark mood that alcohol would help me escape for a few hours each day. Sober meant I was no longer uninhibited, spontaneous, cool.

That second year, I was learning who God is, who I am in Him, what He loves, what He hates. I was new alright, but I hadn’t reached the moment where I could apply the new things I was learning to the people I love most in the world.

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

Okay, I know this took me more than 5 minutes to write, but most of my thoughts take more than 5 minutes and I don’t think this will take more than 5 minutes to read, so that counts, right? 😉 Join us!

This is also day 3 in my #Write31Days contribution.

All posts can be found here.

transformed by renewing my mind_day 2

After the day I gave my life to the Lord, I was on an emotional high like no other ever before. I truly felt like a new person.

When I went to work the following week, I interacted with my co-workers with happiness and joy. When I banged my knee on a shelf in the core, the words that normally would have escaped my mouth seemed to be held back in my throat by an invisible hand. I found myself astonished by something new each day that passed.

Three weeks after I gave my life to the Lord, I got to the end of the bottle of rum in the fridge. I had been getting drunk everyday for 5 long years. I had used alcohol as artificial happiness, knowing full well it is actually a depressant, wanting to quit for 2 years, yet not able to stop because the thought of stopping filled me with panic. But I didn’t want to be drunk anymore. So that night I prayed for God to give me the strength to drive by the liquor store, to help me just breathe, to occupy my mind with anything else. Because I knew if I could get through that night, I would be free from the addiction. God answered my prayer. The next day I felt like a new person again!

Great things just kept coming. I was focused like never before. I immediately got involved in church classes about faith. I dove into reading the Word, absorbing it like those old flat sponges they used to sell, when you added water they would spring up into full fledged sponginess.

Transformation through renewing my mind was in full force. I was so optimistic that it was going to be smooth sailing forevermore. Haha! I think my delusions were the merciful kindness the Lord shows to a newly returned lost sheep.

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

This is day 2 of #Write31Days. Also linking with 3DLessons4Life.

All posts can be found here.

I’m a survivor

As I was surfing the blogs I like to read, I came across this post from a fellow blogger and real life friend, Lyli Dunbar. Suddenly, I knew the Lord was speaking to me in a way I wasn’t able to hear Him before.

I’ve been living like a victim for years, at least since the age of 16. I’ve been looking at my life as a victim of circumstance, death of a parent, bad marriage, poor choices. It’s a really bad way to live and I’ve been living this way for 34 years, right up until today.

But all of those things are over. I survived all of those things by the grace of God. I need to stop thinking the way I’ve been thinking. I need to take my thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. I need to remember I’m a survivor because God was and is with me. He was with me then, leading me through darkness into His marvelous light. And now He’s leading me forward into a future I can’t see. But as long as He is with me, I will survive the hard things. I’m a survivor.

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20