Remember to breathe.
Just when I thought things were getting back to normal, feeling like I had some control over my life again, back to work and all that jazz, the work in Surgery Center world dried up. I begin to feel the panic rise up from deep in my heart as I cry out to the Lord, again!? What’s happening here!? Don’t you know I need a certain amount of income to survive!?
I am so ashamed to confess how easily I get tripped up by this fear. It is a powerful enemy against me. One that I’ve been battling all my life. But then again, I keep armoring up for the battle. Because I know who I belong to. I know the One person who stands behind me as I fight. I know the one who whispers to me, remember to breathe. I’ve got you. I’ve always been here with you. I will always be behind you. I will provide for you.
And God always comes through for me. Because he knows exactly what I need. And this week I needed to drive so I could make ends meet because if I would have worked at my day job, i wouldn’t have gotten a paycheck to the end of next week, a day late and a dollar short. I needed to drive to be encouraged by a girl recovering from a bone marrow transplant, a rare and beautiful thing. I needed to drive to have a conversation with a boy who thinks the Bible makes people atheists, to respectfully disagree and share how the actual investigation of the Word of God helped me believe all of it is true! To challenge him to investigate for himself and not listen to hearsay. All this joy because the other work dropped off.
So yeah. Remember to breathe. Just breathe.