WhenPositiveIsReallyNegative

Today is #internationalbreastcancerday and October is #breastcancerawarenessmonth. A week has come and gone since I found out I am a mutant (BRCA2+ gene mutation). A week to pray. A week to find new health insurance because I stopped traveling, started a new job, and lost my coverage because of being in the in between. Add to all this an upper respiratory infection, lost toenails, and an unexpected tooth extraction and one might believe the universe is conspiring against me. But don’t believe that because the universe is not the creator. God is. He has known about my mutant status all along. He was not thrown off by any of these things. I know that he knows and he knows that I know he knows. And I have peace about all of it. 

So what to do? Doctors say I should either have surveillance 4x/year OR preventive hormone/chemo therapy OR a prophylactic bilateral mastectomy. Also I should have increased surveillance at the gyn with ultrasounds and CA125 1-2x/year OR a total hysterectomy. Also annual visits to a dermatologist to look for melanoma, full body exams.

I’ve decided to go with increased surveillance. I’ve been a surgical nurse for almost 24 years. I’ve even done all these cancer related breast and gyn surgeries. Surgery is no joke. It is painful and keeps a person out of commission for weeks. I am the only bread winner in my family. If I don’t work, I don’t eat. Or pay rent. I don’t get paid time off. I don’t have a spouse to support me. It’s me or nobody. And the preventive surgery is not a guarantee of being cancer free for the rest of my life anyway. There is no man on this planet that can guarantee that. So why go chopping bits of me away?

Here’s what I know for sure. God gave me a heads up and I’m so very thankful for that! I trust him. I know he’s got my back. He is the only one with authority to say how my life ends! I may be a mutant, but I do NOT have cancer! I have information. I have insurance. I have a Heavenly Father who loves me. I have confidence in him. I have hope. I have peace. It is well with my soul. 

Happy Wednesday!

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