Happy. This word comes at a strange time. Cancer has come to visit my family. My baby sister was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. I am a very pragmatic person. I am a surgical nurse. I regularly participate in breast cancer related surgeries. As a nurse, I would consider myself to be an expert in this particular surgery. I know what it looks like. I know the things that women face from a surgical standpoint. I feel like I would handle this diagnosis well. But it’s not me. 

I confess that I have not been good about mammograms. I’m pretty against diagnostic testing. I think sometimes we go too far in treating disease. Particularly in elderly folks. It’s my own personal view. I wouldn’t impose my views about healthcare on others. We all have to choose our healthcare. 

But when my 42 year old sister told me about her cancer, I bit the bullet and scheduled a mammogram. 

Today I got The results. I’m happy/not happy to report that I am cancer free. Don’t get me wrong, I am relieved that I am cancer free. But how can I possibly be happy when my sister is not?

I guess I just don’t understand what God is doing? But as my favorite #2son said,

God’s thoughts are not our thoughts, and his ways are not our ways.

Can I be happy with that? I will try. And I will be available for my favorite sister to try to make her feel happy despite cancer. 


Happy? FiveMinuteFriday


6 thoughts on “FiveMinuteFriday_Happy

  1. Bless you for your thoughts. My sister had the same guilt, happy/unhappy thoughts when she tested negative for the BRCA1 gene that runs in our family. I assured her that I was happy for her and appreciated her support when I was diagnosed 10+ years ago. Yes, I know what women face as well. My dire diagnosis led to a bilateral mastectomy, tram flap reconstruction, and chemotherapy. Four years after my diagnosis our 28 year old, 20 week pregnant daughter was also diagnosed. She also experienced the hell that is cancer. Prayers for your sister. I know you will be so good for her!

    Birgit J #50 on #fmf

    • Thank you so much for your encouragement Birgit! Cancer just sucks! And I am in the process to get tested for BRCA2. My sister has BRCA2. Doing it for my boys so they know. If it wasn’t for them, I’d just as soon not know. It doesn’t change how I would do life. I’m just going to be responsible now and have my yearly mammogram. I pray your daughter has made it through to the other side. ❤️

  2. Well,, I am happy your mammogram came back clear. I mean, would your sister want you to have it? Please, be happy, and share in HER happiness that you’re cancer-free.

    I know whereof I speak; they say I have pancreatic cancer (no insurance, so no confirmation, but I’m certainly symptomatic, to the edge of the envelope). It hurts, a lot, and I have neither energy nor appetite, but I celebrate the health and good fortune of everyone around me.

    And I am, in spite of it all, happy. My career’s gone, I can’t leave the property (hurts too much to ride in a car), and some days I can’t even leave the house, but so what? Life does go on, and the happiness of others draws me up.

    And it could be worse. I could be slow, soft and ugly. When I tell my wife that, her eyes roll so far back that I figure one day they’re gonna lock, and THEN won’t I have a good picture for Pinterest!

    #1 at FMF this week.

    • Thanks for your perspective! I appreciate it so much. And I’m not trying to be anything but happy. It’s just weird to be happy about something when someone you love is going to have such a sucky time. Makes me feel guilty. And you’re right, she’s totally happy I’m okay. Just feel weird. It’ll pass. 🙂

  3. Perhaps you were meant to be there for the help and support you can give your sister, so let’s hope the very natural reflex feeling of ‘guilt’ will pass into something more positive.

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