I’m sitting in my tiny room in Tucson wondering what’s going on Lord? The world is falling apart around me and I wonder how long? How long will you watch us kill each other? Did you see the video? Did you see the fear and hatred and injustice? 

Why don’t people understand there is only ONE race!? The HUMAN race!? There are no sides. We all have pain. We all have suffering. We are all thieves, liars, murderers! Some of us have just never been caught. But you know! When will we realize we cannot hide our crimes from you!?

Generous understanding. Generous forgiveness. Generous communication. Generous support. Generous encouragement. We need these. We need to learn these. 

I’m so sad today. I don’t know why I even bother to write? Why should anyone care to read the words I write? Mine is just one more opinion in a sea of opinions. Noise really.  The world is falling apart around me and there’s nothing I can do to make it better. My sister is facing a battle I cannot fix. I’m at a new job in a new place where I’m unknown. I feel really alone today and I’ll post this blog and hear crickets chirp because social media only wants shiny happy posts. I know because I’m guilty of only wanting shiny happy posts myself. It’s all so meaningless Lord. 

But I won’t ask why. Because why will never be known down here. I’ll just ask again, how long? How do I keep living down here where the pain and suffering and injustice are rising like a flood? I need you so badly Lord! I’m so desperate for you! Come back!

“All you who put your hope in the LORD be strong and brave.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭31:24‬ ‭NCV‬‬