4 years of college education to prepare me for nursing wasn’t enough to make me ready.

I wasn’t ready to watch the first patient die as I pushed the morphine he needed for his pain. I wasn’t ready for the pain I felt when that man died.

I wasn’t ready for the overwhelming fear the first time I did CPR, until a co-worker told me the patient was already dead and CPR could only help him.

6 months of surgical internship to prepare me for life as an OR nurse wasn’t enough to make me ready.

I wasn’t ready for the baby who was tragically run over by his mama cuz he got away from his daddy when he turned away for just a split second.

I wasn’t ready for the brother and sister who got hit by a car when their ball went into the street, killing them both almost instantly.

I wasn’t ready to hear I was the most qualified to scrub a dissecting thoracic aneurysm with only a few months of surgery experience under my belt.

I wasn’t ready to crack the 14 year old girl’s chest in the emergency room when she got shot by a classmate who had a crush on her.

There are countless, seemingly endless human stories I wasn’t ready to take part in. Yet I have. And I don’t know how many more human stories I won’t be ready for?

30 years of nursing. I may never be ready. But God is. And He has never left me to face any of these stories alone.

This is day 10 of 31 days of five minute free writes. Be sure to head over to Kate’s blog to participate or read along or both.