Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse, life took a dramatic turn.
Was it real? It sure felt real. The cause? Nothing in my circumstances has changed. Life is good. I still have a job. Friends and family are all well. But I started taking one new little pill for anxiety and depression.
Two weeks ago, I began a new medication. Everything was rolling along okay for about a week. All of a sudden I started having hot flashes and a dry mouth. No big deal. Side effects.
Over the weekend, I was feeling blue. No big deal. It takes a couple of weeks for medication to work.
Monday I was jittery. I felt like I had way too much caffeine.
Tuesday I skipped the coffee. I felt like I could climb out of my skin. I was shaky, couldn’t sit still. I barely made it through work.
Wednesday I had the day off. I could barely move for the fear I was losing my mind. Tried riding my bike. No coffee again. Nothing seemed to help except laying perfectly still saying Jesus over and over again.
Thursday was just as bad. Called work to say I couldn’t come in. I had to do something.
All sorts of terrifying things filled my mind. Maybe I’m dying. Maybe I have irreversible brain damage from all these meds I’ve been trying. I’m going to end up indigent, penniless. So many people are counting on me. I’m supposed to go to Texas on Sunday. I called a friend who told me to get to the Emergency Room.
I managed to get over there in one piece. The receptionist took one look at me and new I was not okay. I’m either dying or having the worst panic attack of my entire life! I said.
After all tests came back normal, I received a liter of IV fluids and some Ativan and things took an immediate turn for sanity. This was the most epic, expensive panic attack I’ve ever had!
I’m not sure what’s been going on in my poor brain these last couple of months. But I know Someone who does. So I keep turning my eyes upon Him again and again. And I praise Him and thank Him for keeping me safe under the shadow of His wings.
Linking with Five Minute Friday.