transformed by renewing my mind_day 20

I miss joy. I miss excitement. I miss contentment.

I don’t feel like doing anything. Everyday, I seem to be dragging myself through the motions of life.

When will it end?

How long will this keep going on?

I feel so blah.

I’m so tempted to stop taking this medication, to go back to the extreme emotions of before just so I can feel something other than this.

But I don’t miss the pressure build up in my brain that makes me feel like my head might explode. I don’t miss freaking out over normal daily stresses of my job and life. I don’t miss waking up multiple times at night to look at the clock.

Maybe I’m overreacting? Maybe I need to call the doctor this week and see if she can add a little something else to this prescription cocktail? Or maybe I should just go back to being my unmedicated, crazy self, good, bad, and ugly?

I’m starting to wonder if there is really any hope for my poor brain.

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

This is day 20 of #Write31Days.

All posts can be found here.