Do I believe my life and story matter?
Yesterday, I would have said no.
Because I found myself in a pit of despair, that my life was meaningless, useless, hopeless, un-necessary.
Because the new medication was making me crazier for the first half of the day.
Because it was too strong, making my head too fuzzy, somnolent, not all here. I knew I had to act fast.
Because I know my life matters to my boys, family, friends, co-workers.
Because I know the familiar old lies of the enemy, despite the side effects of a new medication. So I called the doctor to fix it.
Because I know my life matters to Jesus.
And today I believe it again.
Figuring out which medication will be best for me is proving to be more challenging than in the past. I was not a little bit frightened yesterday when I felt deep despair about life. This sadness was building up over the last 10 days. What’s particularly weird about it is I only felt these side effects from the time I woke up until about 1pm. Then it would disappear and I would be me again.
Thankfully, the doctor cut the dose in half. Today I woke up feeling totally okay. Praise God!