the one about my marriage (pt 4)

March 1987. He was getting ready to explode. Again. I could see the storm clouds on the horizon. Drunker and drunker as the days went by.

In a bold move, the boldest I had ever made in my 24 years of life, I left a note on the face of the TV. It essentially said we were finished, he should pack his stuff, get out by the end of the day. I had the USAF on my side. He had no one.

At the end of the day, I picked the baby up from daycare, drove home, not a little terrified to see what I would find. Sweet and merciful Jesus! He was gone!!! At least from my house.

I filed for divorce shortly after this. It would take a year to be final.

The drunk phone calls started immediately. I’m sorry! He would cry. I can’t live without you! You’re the best thing ever! I’ll change!

He agreed to counseling. It was just manipulation to get me into bed. That was the final straw! I was determined to never take him back. He played me for the last time.

He spent that whole year of separation harassing me, calling me, threatening to take the baby. I was constantly terrified.

In the meantime, the boy turned 2. I neglected him terribly, resenting his existence because he tied me to a man I never wanted to see again.

March 1988. The divorce was finally final. Suddenly the harassment stopped. He finally gave up. I was so relieved.

I was also traumatized. I had zero love for myself. Zero love for my boy. Zero love for anyone.

To be continued…

His… Michelle


5 thoughts on “the one about my marriage (pt 4)

  1. Found you at Lyli’s today & read through a lot of posts. I just keep thinking the Lord is reminding me that He asks us to “carry each other burdens”. Don’t fully understand that, but know that if He asks us to do so, it’s because He equips us to do so. We can “cast all our cares upon Him because He cares for us.” I feel so blessed to be asked to imitate our Lord by carrying some of your burdens because you are a dear sister, in the blood bought family of our Lord Jesus Christ. That makes you precious to me! Jeremiah 29:11 God’s plans for you, dear sister, are good! You will prosper & be blessed. Even now! Love & prayers, in Jesus, Cynthia

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