The thing is, I’m not the person I want to be, but I’m better than I used to be.
Jesus showed up. Almost 9 years ago now. He broke through the voice in my head that kept saying things like, you’re no good, you’re a bad mother, you’re a terrible friend, you’re ugly, you’re covered in disgusting tattoos, you’re a murderer, you really think God will take you back!?
I’ve spent much of the last 9 years taking my thoughts captive. I know they aren’t true thoughts. I am a new creation. I have a new name. I am chosen. I am loved.
I’ve listened to pastors preach about healing, having faith to believe I am healed. I believe I am healed of the most important thing, eternal separation from God.
But we also live in a really broken world.
People are being murdered for their faith, bombed, terrorized, beheaded.
Dying from cancer, diabetes, heart disease, Ebola.
I truly believe God could fix my brain in the blink of an eye. He did that for me when he healed me of an addiction to alcohol.
Why He doesn’t? I do not know.
What I do know? God is good. He is with me always. He helps me find the help I need here on earth through modern medicine (totally His invention BTW).
My life before Jesus was pretty intense. I share it with you because it’s therapeutic for me, makes it smaller than it actually is in my mind, so it doesn’t control me.
I share it for the sake of even one person who thinks she’s alone in her suffering.
YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE.
Just wanted you to know.
2 Corinthians 4
7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. 11 For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. 12 So death is at work in us, but life in you.
Linking with the SDG gathering.