I cannot look at you for one more minute, your dreaded newsfeed, with all your bad news, games, find out which state, color, name, movie character, enter any dumb thing you are.
I wanted news about you, how you’re doing, how your family is doing, photos of your life, newsletter type stuff. I don’t need you to share every piece of bad news, celebrity death, score in candy crush, gossip from superficial sources that speculate about every deed under the sun.
I’ve tried every way to Sunday to figure out how to keep you without looking at your nasty newsfeed, but alas I cannot find it. I am drawn to you like a moth to flame, or the scene of a terrible accident, gawking at the dead, not able to tear my eyes away from the carnage.
And it hurts my heart. Terribly. If I want bad news, I’ll turn on the TV. Oh wait! That’s right! I got rid of cable because I don’t want to watch bad news! Don’t think me cold hearted. I know bad things are happening all over the world, people with Ebola, children being murdered by crazed terrorists, wars, rumors of wars, etc. My heart breaks for all of them. But you see, I think it’s been going on since the beginning of time. The Lord writes about it in His book. The world is broken. I don’t need your images to remind me of what I already know.
This is personal. It’s not me, it’s you. So Facebook, you have to go. Out. Like the bad stain you have become. I’m leaving you. I may leave you permanently. It’s not like my life was so much less meaningful before I knew you. And it’s not like I really have 537 friends. Look at poor old Solomon. Where did all those wives and concubines ever get him!?
So, we’re done, through, finished, kaput. This ship is sailing and you, Facebook, are not invited!