five minute friday_lost

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Write for five minutes. Don’t think too hard. Just write. Then share over @thegypsymama. There’s only one rule. Visit the link before yours and leave an encouraging comment.

This week the word is lost.

GO

I have a default mode. My natural inclination is to be negative, critical, complaining. I don’t think I was born this way. I learned to be this way to protect myself from the onslaught of criticism I absorbed from others.

When I meet people throughout the day, my brain is sizing them up, the way they look, act, body language, tone of voice, like those computer glasses you see in movies that shoot off a list of data in the corner of the lens. Any detail that sets me on edge is the one I grab on to, the wall goes up, I walk the other way, avoid tangling.

A couple of things happened at work this week that has me checking my heart. The other day, I was working with a surgeon who is not well liked at all. He’s difficult, angry, foul mouthed. When he had a temper tantrum, I had this surreal moment when I realized I was looking in the mirror. Ouch! I’m not that bad Lord, am I?

There’s another person who is always cracking the whip, being bossy, laughing at others behind their back, gossiping. And it bugs me because she had a health scare. You’d think that would change an attitude. Make that person kinder, gentler. I was with a group of co-workers when that person was down the hall glaring at us like we were just standing around. (We were because there was high dose radiation therapy happening in the room we were assigned). One co-worker yelled out we weren’t just loitering. Suddenly, I blurted out I don’t like her! I couldn’t believe it came out of my mouth!

This morning I listened to a song about what love looks like. The song talked about fathers working all night, mothers teaching their kids to do the right thing, soldiers laying down their lives, God sending Jesus. I had an epiphany.

I’ve been trying to find qualities in others to make me love them when I should be looking at them as whole people. We’re all broken. We all have things about ourselves we wish we could lose.

If I look beyond the surgeon and his temper, I see a man who works exhausting hours to repair damaged backs as perfectly as he can. Because he wants people to be whole, to be pain free. He’s doing the best he can. He’s showing love and compassion for the sick. Could his behavior improve? Sure. But so can mine.

How about the co-worker I blurted my dislike about? She bends over backwards to make sure the same surgeon has every little thing he needs to make his cases go without a hitch. She’s showing love and compassion for the surgeon and the patients. Could her behavior improve? Sure. But so can mine.

In all this, I believe I’ve made another major breakthrough in this whole business of loving others, even loving myself. I need to cut others some slack as far as their behavior goes, see the bigger picture, grab onto that, and keep telling old michelle to get lost.

STOP

This took way more than 5 minutes to write. Haha!

His… Michelle
Philippians1:20

The video that spoke to me.

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17 thoughts on “five minute friday_lost

  1. Hi Michelle. We’re FMF neighbors. Your post made me think of a saying I’ve learned to be true: hurt people hurt people. You’re wise to consider the whole person. So often I forget that. As the bible instructs us, take the log out of our eye before we focus on the speck I another’s. I always need that reminder. Thanks!

  2. OK – Micey – whenever we finally get to sit down and have a cup of coffee – you’re just going to have to give me a lot of latitude. I’m probably one of those people that grows on one, like moss on a tree! LOL – I learned raising one teen to see others how God sees them – not how I see them rightnow! That totally changed my perception. Love is a choice – and maybe by being determined to love – whether it is wanted or deserved – it changes us and them! I love the epiphany you grew this week – may it bloom riotously!

  3. Oh Michelle, those thoughts have hit me many a time when dealing with difficult medical professionals. and then, like you, i see their motivation. We can’t see behind what they show us, we can’t know that there’s no one to care for them at home, no compassion, wayward children, marriages failing, there are so many many reasons people behave the way they do. The more you look to see what may be behind what they show, the more the old Michelle will be lost and the new Michelle will be found-full of compassion, grace and mercy. visiting from FMF

  4. You’re so right – it’s like we get goggles on – seeing people only from our own perspective and preferences, and losing sight of their whole motivation and commitment. It’s not all about how they treat us, is it?! Thanks for this thought-provoking post.

  5. I so appreciate your honesty in this post, Michele. I’ve learned a lot about God’s grace to me. I’ve found myself to be a much slower learner when it comes to my showing that same kind of grace to others. The giving depends so much on the receiving, so I pray we believe and receive in abundance, don’t you? Terrific post.

  6. Loved this post Micey…one of your best! Yes, the instant summing up and silent judging of others. I do it instantly…as a defense…but still…it aint pretty. According to the introvert theory it is a result of over sensitivity in social situations. According to the Bible, its our flesh sabotaging the chance to have real vulnerable relationships with others. The closer we grow to Christ the more our eyes are opened to how UN-like Him we are. This is a good thing, though. Humility and growth. Humility and growth.
    Cheers,
    Leah

    • Amen Leah! Humility and growth. Introvert theory is good, but it’s missing the most important filter, the word of God. I am definitely over sensitive in social situations, but I’m also a sinner. Those behavioral psychologists don’t always factor that info into the bigger picture. So nice to see you again! Hope you’re having a rockin good summer so far!

  7. Yep, Yep, Yep. There is almost always good – if we look for it. And there is always room for us to improve. Like, lots of room! Maybe if I wasn’t so hard on other people, I wouldn’t be so hard on myself – or vice versa. Not exactly sure which comes first – but either way it needs to happen. Thanks again for sharing your heart.

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