He is changing me

The text message usually arrives the same way. You home? She has her own text sound so I know who is texting. It’s my sister. She is 11 years younger than me. I used to push her around in her stroller like she was my own little live baby doll. I love her so much. She doesn’t know Jesus. Doesn’t want to know Him. Yet.

We usually talk about our kids. Who’s doing what. How school is going for them. Jobs. My kids are grown, hers are still small. But lately, the conversations have taken a dark turn, dredging up the past hurts and failures of a parent who seems to be getting more bitter as time goes by.

Today was no exception. After talking for way too long about things that are unchangeable, feeling completely discouraged, the Lord took control of my thoughts and words. Suddenly I said, Enough. We can’t do this anymore. It doesn’t help. All it does is make us sad and bitter ourselves. I don’t want to be bitter anymore. I want to be different.

If I am supposed to be the light of the world, the salt of the earth, if I am supposed to show my beloved sister Jesus, I need to change my ways, my words, my attitude!

Paul writes to the Ephesians in chapter 4:

17 Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. 18 They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. 19 They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. 20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.

25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. 26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil. 28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Oh pray with me that I keep changing. I don’t want to continue with this futility. I want to bring glory to God like He brings the sun around to light each day! Amen!

His… Michelle



4 thoughts on “He is changing me

  1. What a beautifully honest post. I’m sure that your sister will see something different in you. I truly believe there is a day coming when she will want to know our Savior. In the meantime, the Lord is doing deep work within you.

    Me too.


Comments are closed.