I am. No really. I am.
The loss of the senior pastor at my church has caused me, at the prompting of the Holy Spirit, to examine my heart. And woe is me for I am found horribly wanting.
I spend so much time looking at how other people mess up and I am like the Pharisee in the temple who thanks God he isn’t like a tax collector or an adulterer or a sinner.
Meanwhile, the behaviors that instantly left me the day after I surrendered my life all those years ago have been slowly but surely resurfacing, causing me to be double minded. Today it hit me hard. I have been making God look bad. My light has been hidden under a basket. The truly scary part is it is completely unintentional. I want to be holy. I want people to see Jesus in me.
Sin is just like those crazy tumors we removed on the ship in Africa, those ameloblastomas. If even one little cell is missed in the removal, the tumor grows right back. It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a slow process. Or sin is like the weeds that grow in a garden. You pluck that sucker up, but some are so pervasive if you don’t get the last millimeter of the root, it grows back and spreads. Sin is like cancer and we all have it.
Thank God He is faithful to point out to me my sin. Thank God I still hear His voice. Thank God He still loves me unconditionally. Thank God He never changes. Thank God His mercies are new every morning. Thank God! Praise God! He alone is worthy. He alone deserves glory, honor, and praise. Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God almighty!