Five Minute Friday: True

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Write for five minutes. Don’t think too hard. Just write. Then share over @thegypsymama. There’s only one rule. Visit the link before yours and leave a comment.

The word this week is true.

GO

Fair warning: my true is not for the faint of heart. Do not read this if you are squeamish in any way. I am not proud of who I used to be in any shape or form.

Before Christ, the following things were true:

  • I lost my dad to heart disease when I was 16.
  • I told God I would never speak to Him again.
  • I survived spouse abuse.
  • I gave my older son to my mother for a year because I resented him. He was the only tie I had to the abuser I hated. I resented a 3 year old.
  • I became very promiscuous.
  • I had an abortion. I didn’t feel any sadness or remorse. What I did feel was physical pain which led me to decide I would never do that again.
  • I had another son after. But I refused to marry his father.
  • I became a drunk.
  • I hated men so much I decided adultery wouldn’t be a bad thing. This way I could have sex without any fear of attachment.
  • I was addicted to pornography.
  • I did things in public that should never be done in public.
  • I was so lost I didn’t even know how lost I was.
  • After Christ, the following things are true:

  • I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.
  • I am complete in Christ.
  • I have been justified.
  • I am now the mom my boys should have had all along.
  • I still struggle with my feelings toward men.
  • I still struggle with self loathing
  • I still struggle with forgiving myself.
  • I struggle with believing God really loves me.
  • STOP

    His… Michelle
    Philippians 1:20

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    20 thoughts on “Five Minute Friday: True

    1. You’ve been through so much. Your candour is appreciated. It is powerful to see how a life can be turned around so fundamentally. I too had an abusive partner once. I understand how difficult that journey is.

    2. Michelle,
      Thank you for sharing true life stories. I am so happy that for all of us there are before and afters. It never ceases to amaze me how God in His wisdom and grace can take our messes and make them our messages. {hug}

    3. Dar Micey
      I love your honesty and testimony how our Pappa loves us unconditionally. When I was struggling to believe God loves me and I told Him about it. Every time these doubts came back, I gave them to Jesus, reminding myself that it doesn’t matter how much I struggle, He loves me anyway because He loved me even before the creation of the world and He doesn’t change.
      Blessings XX
      Mia

    4. Notice that those things WERE true. Past tense. No longer. Today may you walk in this TRUTH – “He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.” (Psalm 103:12). Those past things are removed. And always remember east can never meet west πŸ™‚ I found that to be so freeing when it was told to me. We need never meet up with our sin again! I prayed for you before leaving this comment. Your post is stirring. I was your neighbor this morning at Lisa Jo’s & yes! I was glad that I was as I truly will be praying throughout the day. Each time I pray I will be asking our God to give you a display of His love for you! So be on the lookout πŸ™‚
      Blessings,
      Joanne

    5. So many awesome and brave posts today on 5minfri…yours is the most brave and the most uplifting. All I can think of is the scripture “those who have been forgiven much, love much”
      At least I think it is from the Bible.
      Cheers,
      Leah

    6. When I was 17, I told God that I didn’t want to talk to Him anymore. I had prayed for years that he would help my mom and He hadn’t. Eventually, I saw that He had given her opportunities – but it was her decision whether to take them:) My dad walked out when I was 5 – and when I married, I struggled with fear that my husband would do the same thing. But God heals – it’s a journey, sometimes this healing. There are days I so wish I had a real-life-love-me-bunches dad right here right now – but I’m building that relationship with Shaddai:) And, raising these boys – some of who are easy to shephard to God and some who are tough – the tough ones have taught me about His kind of love – and I have learned to stand with Him, hold on tight to Him – because it has sometimes been a bumpy ride. However – it is through those very heart-piercing challenges I learned to love so much better:) Thank you for sharing your truth – where you were and how much closer to HIm you are now in this journey:) Blessings to you for your bravery!

    7. I appreciate your candor because you are an example of how God can change a person’s life. If you didn’t speak out, others may never know that God cares for them – no matter what they have done – and he offers them salvation – again, no matter what they have done. You are a light to those who feel they are so lost and ashamed of what they have done that they don’t believe God loves them. Please keep spreading the message.

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