I’ve been back on the ship for just about 4 weeks now. We’re filled up to capacity again with people from around 35 different nations. We have a full hospital, full surgery schedule, and full cabins. Wherever you turn you may find somebody speaking in a different language. It’s fun, different, and stressful.
How do you handle it Michelle? Good question. I’m not really sure. You’d think by now I’d have it all figured out, but I don’t. I struggle with the constant turnover of crew. I find it especially challenging in surgery.
Every Monday, we get new OR staff. Yes. Every single Monday. It’s like travel nursing on steroids. The new people show up. They’re super excited, as one would expect. They’re ready to work hard. They’re happy. And they don’t know anything about who they’ll be working with. Likewise, we don’t know anything about them.
I was telling a nurse from Australia how hard it is to be me in this environment. I’m no good at acting. If I’m happy, it shows. If I’m not happy, it shows. People take one look at me and think I’m angry when I just might be tired or more recently in pain. I have to explain over and over and over who I am. It’s mentally exhausting. It’s also discouraging.
I find myself wondering every single day why I’m here? I don’t think I have anything super special to offer. I’m not a shiny happy person. I’m just a square peg trying to fit into a round hole.
And yet I know God told me to come here. I’ve met some really great people here. I’m living with three of the most awesome girls ever. I feel like the edges of the square are softening. I just keep waiting for my life to feel normal again, routine, stable.
In other news, my back feels better than it has in months. Praise God! I continue the ibuprofen for another week or so as long as my BP stays down. So far so good. Being pain free is definitely helping my disposition too. Thank you for all the prayers! The Lord is listening. 🙂
Feel free to ask me questions in the comments. Sometimes I don’t know what to write about. Ideas friends! I want to know what you want to know. 🙂