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I’ve been thinking a lot about what blogging means to me. I love blogging. I started blogging before it was even a word. Blogging helped me find community when I was at the lowest point in my life, when I couldn’t love or trust anyone outside of my immediate family. I even believe God used blogging to help me flesh out finding my way back to Him.

So when I have a crisis of reason, when I can’t figure out why I blog, it really unsettles my heart. I struggle with people pleasing. I think we all do to some degree. I care about what people think of me. To not care would mean my brain is far more broken than it already is. There’s a term for a person who doesn’t care at all, it’s sociopath. My name is NOT sociopath. But, I can’t care so much that it makes me a slave to pleasing others. I’m sure there’s a term for that too, I just don’t know what it is. If you know, leave me a comment. 😉

What does all this mean? I’m taking back control of my blog. (Don’t worry, I never thought you had control of my blog, it’s proverbial) I’m going to blog about my life. I’m going to stop looking for “inspiration” from other blogs, including prompts, memes, and challenges. If I don’t have anything to say, I won’t say anything. I’m going to stop forcing myself to live up to an impossible standard I placed on myself based on thinking it’s what the reader wants. Don’t get me wrong. I’m so happy people like this blog and read it. But if I’m writing just to receive affirmation, praise, or glory, then I shouldn’t be writing in a public setting at all. It builds up pride. Pride leads to falling flat on your face.

As for the title change. Jesus is still saving me from me. 🙂 I thank God everyday He hasn’t given up on me! He knows how often I try to give up on myself. I just think this title is too long. When I go back to the root of the matter, once I was lost and now I am found, I like that word: found. It makes sense. Then I looked up the definition and it made even more sense.

tr.v. found·ed, found·ing, founds
1. To establish or set up, especially with provision for continuing existence
2. To establish the foundation or basis of; base

tr.v. found·ed, found·ing, founds
1. To melt (metal) and pour into a mold.
2. To make (objects) by pouring molten material into a mold.

Isn’t this how Jesus is saving me from me? And so a new title is born or found. Haha.

All this to say, I’m back! I feel better. I feel together. I feel found! Now, I’m going to go hike around Las Palmas. 🙂

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

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6 thoughts on “

  1. Just keep blogging – I might not comment much but you often speak about issues that I am having too. Thanks for your ministry – and I will keep praying for you and those you encounter in the clinics.

  2. I totally agree with you, Michelle, about how writing a blog can gradually create what becomes an intolerable burden of expectation that one will regularly produce scintillating stuff. It’s why I packed it in for 2 and a half years. Now, like you, I’m resolved to write only when I feel I’ve been given something to say. I still panic at times when I’m not given anything for days on end, but I’m learning just to wait and be patient and write only in God’s good time.

    • Thank you Neil. I’m so glad you came back to blogging. I learn so many good things through you. I’m really hoping I don’t go down this road again, but it has always been a challenge for me. We’ll see what happens. 🙂

  3. Go girl!! It is your blog – if people don’t want to read it they can read something else…. I will stick around and follow your journey. Where ever it takes you.

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