I woke up sad today. There is no apparent reason for this sadness. I have struggled with melancholy all my life. It is one of the things about my character I dislike, even hate, a lot. I have no control over my moods. And when the sadness strikes, I can’t hide it. I’ve tried. I’m not an actor. Oh how I pray I were. I HATE being so exposed. I HATE that people I don’t know can see me so clearly. This is a problem I don’t know how to deal with here, living in community. I look around and see other people carrying on, consistently happy. Why can’t I be like them? This is clearly a weight I need to give to the Lord. I just can’t seem to figure out how?
In other news, we had ukulele club on the beach tonight. We went to this awesome place called Chaka Waka. It’s in a caravan like the ones you see at the carnival. We had so much fun and drew a Guinean crowd. Now, playing my ukulele, singing I’ll Fly Away Oh Glory, makes me happy. 🙂