where was I?

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Where was I in 1994? I know I was living in Pennsylvania. RS was 9 years old. GA was 3 years old. Meanwhile, across the Atlantic, a million people died in less than 100 days in Rwanda. Genocide. Why didn’t I know about this until I saw Hotel Rwanda years after the fact? Or how is it possible that at almost the same time, genocide was being perpetrated in Yugoslavia? Where was I? My head was buried in the sand. How did that happen? It was a gradual decent into the pit. Each event I witnessed pushed me into deeper despair. There was a cold war. There was a gas crisis. The older I got, the more I learned how many lies I believed. No more war after Vietnam? LIE. I was on active duty in the USAF the first time we went to Iraq. How can this be happening again? We always had to be up on current events. After I came home I didn’t care to know one more current event ever again. It progressed to not wanting to remember or know about anything other than what was right in front of me. When I couldn’t handle that anymore, I became a drunk. Oh blessed alcohol induced memory erasure. Where is this coming from? you might be wondering. I watched a documentary about the Rwanda genocide. Somebody said, Those who forget the past, are doomed to repeat it. Apparently, we forget. A lot! The hardest thing I face now that I’ve been sober for 7+ years is reality. But now I know I’m not alone. Now I remember how I wanted to help people, really help people. My head is not buried anymore. If we don’t stand for something, we will fall for anything. I choose to shine my light in Africa.

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

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2 thoughts on “where was I?

  1. Michelle, You would “enjoy” the book, My Father, Maker of the Trees. Enjoy is not the right word because the story is horrendous, but amazing because of how God’s light shone in the darkness of the genocide.

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