when doubt creeps in…

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It’s been a tough weekend. I went to see the boy in Gainesville. Everything was a-okay. We did lots of fun touristy things. We visited the botanical gardens. We found out the Gulf of Mexico is only 51 miles from Gainesville so we went. We ate Cuban food. He dragged me to a movie I didn’t want to see. Good times all in all. But checking Facebook, I learned of the death of the founder of the tattoo community I belonged to BC, a community similar to Facebook but much darker. I needed them at the time, like a kid without a family needs a gang. I needed community, although I didn’t know it. Anyway, the founder died. Then, like a train wreck I couldn’t look away from, I found myself wanting to know the details. I went down a rabbit hole I should not have gone down. I’m sad to say he went to his grave professing atheism. Because of my need to know details I found myself doubting everything I’ve ever known to be true about God. That old sinful desire for gossip allowed the devil to slip his ugly, slimy little spirit into my head, to dangle his little carrot in front of my face and I bit. I left Gainesville today telling God I don’t think I’m strong enough to leave the people I love again. How am I supposed to live without them again? But God is good. The minute I began seeking Him, He showed up to comfort me. Why am I telling you this? Because I need to be accountable for my sinful behavior. And I need you to pray for me like crazy! As the day approaches to leave, I don’t imagine things getting easier. The enemy hates what I stand for. I stand for truth! I stand for salvation! I stand for Christ!

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

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4 thoughts on “when doubt creeps in…

  1. Praying for you my friend…when the enemy sees your love and obedience to God he will slip that little ole carrot in wherever he can. But, by sharing, praying, and being accountable, you shut the door right in his face!

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