adventures of a girl who loves Jesus...

life ramped up…

micey — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 00:38:40 +0000

Busy, busy, busy. I’m so glad I have 108 days to go before I leave for the big adventure. There are like a million things to do.

I need to update my RN licenses

I need to complete 25 CEUs for my Florida RN license

I need to order travel health insurance/li>

I need to update my typhoid vaccine

I need to complete mandatory reading and study assignments for Onboarding

I need to shop for a whole list of things to take to Africa

I need to plan a bunch of fundraisers

I need to move in 6 days

I need to work

I need to spend time with the Lord

I need to learn how to live with people again

I need to figure out a whole new routine

When it’s all said and done, I need two of me. Did I ever mention I am easily overwhelmed? If I get too much on my plate at once, I tend to freak out. I think I have bitten off more than I can chew. I mean really. The amazing thing today is somehow I am calm.

It’s Jesus. I’m in the boat with him. The storm is blowing. But he’s with me. My eyes are fixed on him. He’s sitting across from me. His eyes are shining with happiness, compassion, and love. He is mesmerizing. I just have to keep looking into the eyes of love to know everything is gonna be all right.

And so it goes. Thanks for all your prayers and support! They mean the world to me.

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

be part of changing the world for one person by supporting Mercy Ships!

micey — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 18:10:37 +0000

Watch the latest from Mercy Ships and then join my team! All staff are volunteers who must cover their own expenses. Help me help Mercy Ships transform lives in Jesus’ name! I need to raise $8450 by my birthday, 5/1/12. Thanks for your prayers and support!

Michelle on Mercy Ships

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

the battle continues

micey — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 00:20:24 +0000

The last 2 days have been challenging. I had another panic attack yesterday. I received an email from Mercy Ships packed with information related to the upcoming class before I head to Africa. It had details about payment deadlines, airfare costs, and even little room key deposits. I’ve got to stop reading these emails at work when I’m already on information overload trying to take care of surgeons, coworkers, and most importantly patients. I was very grateful to learn from a coworker that the hospital has a prayer garden. I made a beeline for it on my lunch break. I didn’t even bother to have food. I just cried and cried to God. I told Him I was afraid I wouldn’t get enough funding for the trip. I just let Him have all the fear right then and there. When my break was over, I had peace in my heart again. God reassured me He is my Jehovah Jirah, my provider.

So imagine my dismay when I woke up feeling really bad again. I prayed and told God I know He’s going to take care of things. I know He’s with me wherever I go. But checking my bank account, I saw I was missing a paycheck. Again with fear. Again crying. Again being reminded God has always provided for me. He hasn’t let me down yet. My day was not off to a good start. All the anxiety followed me to work. The first case was really tough and not the usual type of case I do. Everything worked out in the end, but I was not prepared the way I should have been. I cried through the whole case. I really had trouble shaking the discouragement.

I confess I have trouble taking my eyes off of me and fixing them on God. It really is quite a battle. I got to leave work early because my cases finished early. I felt so grateful to God for letting me go home and rest. I came home, watched the news, made dinner, and opened a book I haven’t looked at for weeks and weeks. The book is Stumbling Into Grace: Confessions of a Sometimes Spiritually Clumsy Woman by Lisa Harper. This particular chapter was about becoming dependent on God. Coincidence? No way! Below is the scripture she chose for the study questions!

Joshua 1:5-9
5 No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life. Just as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you or forsake you. 6 Be strong and courageous, for you shall cause this people to inherit the land that I swore to their fathers to give them. 7 Only be strong and very courageous, being careful to do according to all the law that Moses my servant commanded you. Do not turn from it to the right hand or to the left, that you may have good success wherever you go. 8 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

Once again, God shows up and speaks to me! I love Him so much my head spins! I know I have no control over most anything. I know this in my head. I have faith God is going to get this through my thick skull into my heart whether I like it or not! Because God is good all the time!

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

an ironic life…

micey — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 00:07:41 +0000

My life is quite ironic. I know God planned it this way, but I’m not exactly sure why? I’m sure one reason is for the sheer hilarity of it all. I also think irony shows me I don’t have the control I think I have. So here for your reading pleasure are a few ironic tales.

Back in the day, I served with the USAF in Spain. I spent 2.5 years living there. When I first arrived, I didn’t have a vehicle. I thought maybe I would purchase one in country. I did. It was a really crappy car. I was allowed to ship a vehicle from the USA. So I called my brother. He drove my Honda Civic to Baltimore. Six weeks later, I had a reliable car again. I drove that car in Spain for 2 years. It would get all growly and act weird and sputter and break down. It needed spark plugs like every month. Nobody knew why? It was a pure mystery. When it came time for me to leave Spain, I decided to leave the car behind. One of my friends said he would sell it for me. The day before I got on the plane to come back to the USA, I figured I better go through the glove compartment and check for important stuff. All the way at the bottom I found a note from my brother, didn’t have a chance to disconnect the catalytic converter, don’t use leaded gas… I nearly fell on the floor laughing! At the time I lived there, there was no other type of gas available except leaded! Isn’t it ironic?

I’m moving in 11 days. I’ve been using one laundromat for 6 months. I found the best route to that laundromat when I only need to visit one more time. Isn’t it ironic? My place includes all the utilities, cable, and internet. The internet has pretty much never worked, until today! Isn’t it ironic?

Alanis Morisette wrote a song by the same title. It’s one of my favorite songs ever. She really captured the essence of my feelings about irony at that time. I love God for so many reasons. I love Him a lot because He has such a great sense of humor. But His irony? He’s just too funny for mere human words! How’s the irony working in your life?

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

to do list…

micey — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 17:42:13 +0000

I’m so excited getting things together for this trip! I really think it’s because this is what the Lord has been leading me to all these years. This just feels so right, so perfect. I can’t contain my enthusiasm. Right now, I’m not stressing about anything relating to fundraising. This cause is just so worthy of support. I’m completely stoked and behind what Mercy Ships is about!

The first fundraising event is set for St Patrick’s Day. It will be all things green and fun! There will be fun things to do. There will be fun things to buy. There will be fun surprises!

This weekend, I’m putting the finishing touches on a couple of crafty projects to sell to raise money for the trip. I’m making lists, checking them twice. Fun! Fun! Fun! The crazy thing? I’m doing stuff that is opposite of who I’ve been. Hah! God is good!

Thanks for coming along for the ride! Thanks for your support and prayers too!

xox
His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

the battle begins…

micey — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 23:59:29 +0000

My Pastor shares a great quote every time he holds a missions or evangelism class; If you don’t meet the devil when you leave your house in the morning, you’re going the wrong way. It’s a fact. Ministry brings attacks. I must be doing something right because I’ve had a very difficult week.

The enemy is sneaky. He doesn’t come at me in full frontal assault. He usually flanks me. I had 3 panic attacks this week. What if I don’t get enough work? What if people won’t partner with me? What if… I haven’t had this much anxiety in ages. Let me introduce you to my enemy, anxiety. The other day, I rebuked him very loudly as he flashed horrible visions of heinous things involving my family in front of my eyes!!! How dare you defy the armies of the living God!!! I cried. People I love are sick, discouraged, exhausted, calling me with all kinds of difficulties. It’s just been crazy!

Ephesians 6:12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.

But it’s okay. My God has won the war! I am victorious through the blood of Christ! Greater is He who is in me than in the world! I’m resting in the arms of the Miracle Maker! Despite all the enemy’s attempts, I am making plans for fundraising, putting together fliers, talking to people, sharing what the Lord is doing through Mercy Ships. He will not win this battle. He’s already defeated! Praise and glory to God!!!

Please pray for me, my family, and my friends to be protected. Pray that I can be organized and analytical since these are not talents that come naturally to me. Please pray for wisdom and discernment and peace and rest. Pease pray that I would have steady work to meet my financial obligations. Please pray about joining my support team. I have made the front page static. You can find my Mercy Ships account info here. Please help me get to Africa once again. Thanks for your support and prayers!

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

a time for everything…

micey — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 13:52:24 +0000

I am overwhelmed with gratitude and love for my God. He saved me! He saved me from the worst enemy I’ve ever had, me! It’s time to revisit where I’ve come from. Many of you know my testimony so I hope you won’t find this post tedious. I’m hoping someone new might stumble upon this blog and find hope. And it’s good to never forget where we come from. Where I’ve come from makes me fall on my face and cry tears of joy and thanksgiving to my Savior!

I grew up going to church. But the Gospel never sank into my heart. I loved God. I loved Jesus. But it was a superficial love because I didn’t know Him. I loved everything He stood for. I loved Him the way people love movie stars or rock stars. When my dad died, that love quickly turned into a stubborn hatred and denial of the One who gave me my life. After this event, I quickly became lost. I did everything that was good in my own sight. I married the wrong person which led to years of abuse. I divorced him which led to years of looking for love in all the wrong places. I thought being loved was a man thinking I was cute enough to sleep with which led to an abortion. Each step I took led me deeper and deeper into darkness. Each thing I tried to pull myself up, drinking, getting tattooed, searching for love, moving to a new place, left me emptier and emptier.

Thirteen years after my dad died, I witnessed something that made me realize, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that God is real. I saw a patient come back to life after being legally dead for 30 minutes. Without my understanding, I began to minister to patients that God is real. I never even realized what I was doing. What I fully understood from that moment through the next 13 years was I was going to hell when I died. Oh, by then I was such a bitter, miserable, mean, sarcastic, cynical person I just turned going to hell into a joke. I would literally make jokes about it. It was the only way for me to not completely lose my mind. Deny. Deny. Deny. I broke my relationship with God all those years ago and had no idea how to fix it.

Thirteen years later, I moved to Florida. One year after that I finally hit rock bottom. I was more miserable than anyone I knew. If God hadn’t given me my boys, I would have rolled over and died. I never understood that all the suffering I endured was self inflicted. I spent 26 years projecting my feelings onto other people that I was convinced no one could ever love me or be my friend when all along it was me who could never love me or be my friend. So I withdrew from the land of the living. It was this I’ll break up with them before they get the chance to break up with me mentality that led me to endless sorrow and loneliness (mind you I only understand this now that I know the Lord).

But God! In the parable of the lost sheep, Jesus tells of a shepherd leaving 99 sheep to search for his 1 lost sheep. Upon finding that sheep he gathers all his friends to celebrate finding his sheep. I was that sheep! When I came to the end of myself, God sent a coworker to me to tell me how Jesus changed her life. Ten days later I was born again!

What is my life like now? I’ve known the Lord for 6 years. He healed me from alcoholism and smoking almost immediately after being saved. Once those strong chains were broken, he began to break down the granite wall I had been erecting around my heart for 26 years. It’s been a long, painful process. That wall isn’t completely razed yet, but it’s been pulled down enough now for me to see bright, beautiful, glorious light! I have more hope now than I ever dreamed of before. Little by little the rocks are falling. The bitterness is gone. The anger is gone. The loneliness is gone. The mean, hateful spirit is gone. The self loathing is gone. I look in the mirror and cry tears of joy because I found forgiveness and don’t hate the girl in the mirror anymore! People tell me they like me. Coworkers tell me I am a joy to work with. Surgeons request my help. All these amazing things have nothing to do with what I did to help myself. They are due to a great and awesome God who lifted me up from the pit of hell and put me back in the land of the living! Anything good in me that you see is a gift from God! I will never be able to repay Him or do enough good things for Him to earn that! Salvation is a gift, the most precious gift I have ever received!

I don’t know who you are or where you come from, but if you read this today and say I want what she has, here’s what you do: cry out to God! Confess to Him you are a sinner. Ask Him to forgive you for all the stupid, wrong, messed up things you’ve done throughout your life. Believe in your heart with all sincerity and humility that Jesus Christ died on the cross in your place for your crime, was buried for 3 days, and on the third day rose again to life! Thank God for saving you! Run out right this minute and tell your friends, your family, the dude on the street corner, that Jesus Christ is Lord and He saved you! Then get yourself a Bible, find a Bible believing, Bible teaching church (I recommend Calvary Chapel) and hang on for the best ride of your life! God will change you! He won’t let you stay where you are. He will restore the years you lost to sin. He will fill your heart with so much joy your head will spin!

Romans 3:23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

Romans 6:23 for the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord

Romans 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 10:9 because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

Romans 10:13 For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

Romans 5:1 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Romans 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.[a]

Romans 8:38-39 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Take a leap of faith! You will never regret it!

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20/em>

GPS

micey — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 16:15:51 +0000

Hi, my name is Michelle and I confess I am a little worried about raising funds for my trip with Mercy Ships. There, I said it. I wonder how many missionaries have minor or major freak outs about this sort of thing? I don’t know why I am stressing about this either? It’s not like God hasn’t supplied my need in the past. It’s not like I haven’t done this before. So what gives?

I think it’s because I make plans that aren’t God’s plans. I mean really, I have a plan for my life. As soon as Mercy Ships accepted me for service, the wheels began turning. I need to work x number of days to make y amount of money by z day in June. Then everything will be perfect! I really think God looks down on me and laughs that laugh only a father would have for his child. You know the one I’m talking about? Oh look at her go! She thinks she has it all figured out. Isn’t she cute? Then I get cancelled from work for a day which means x number of days is already messed up. So I call one of my best friends who reminds me I need to include the body of Christ in this mission because some are called to go, but others are called to send. I can’t leave the senders out or I’m robbing them of their ministry to send! Then I thank God for giving me such great friends! She’s right of course!

Which leads me to the whole GPS thing. We use them in our cars to get from point A to point B. The cool thing about them is when you make a wrong turn, you don’t have to start over from the beginning, it just makes a correction in the course so you still arrive at point B. I couldn’t remember what GPS stands for so I had to look it up. Global Positioning System. Well God is like GPS, God Planning Steps. We make our plans (I am particularly good at this) and when we go the wrong way, God corrects for our wrong turn so we still end up at point B which was where he wanted us all along! He’s really good that way.

Now I just need to get on the horse and go! I’m still waiting for an account number from Mercy Ships. In the meantime, I set up a fundraising page. I hope if you’re called to be a sender you will pray and contribute whatever the Lord directs you to give.

I would also like to be covered in prayer everyday that I am on this adventure. So please, if you would like to pray for me, use the contact button above and tell me what day of the month you would pray for me. Thanks so much for all your support and prayers! God will bless you richly for blessing me!

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

happy February!

micey — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 00:19:12 +0000

February has arrived in sunny Florida. This has been one of the nicest winters I’ve experienced in as many years. The temperatures have been unseasonably warm. Yes, I said warm. We do get a bit of a chill here in south Florida. Now I know you northerners, aka Yankees, are scoffing at me as you read this, but I’m sticking to my story.

I went to Pennsylvania this past week to visit the family. I had a lovely time. I haven’t been home since last March. It’s always fun to see the nieces and nephews. I like to see how big they have gotten. I’m a mere gnome of a person, so it doesn’t take long for the little ones to catch me. It’s okay though because the sister is even shorter than I so they all catch her first! Heehee!

This angel is the miracle baby Gabriella. She is 2 1/2 years old now, smart as a whip, busy, and cute as a button. When I look at her, I am transported back to the day she was born and I thank God for her because she is our little gift!

This past Sunday was the sister’s birthday. My mom and I took her out for lunch and a movie. We had a nice day despite everyone having flu like symptoms.

That’s me with the mom and the sister.

I also enjoyed visiting with a few old high school friends. The first night home I went to a Bible study with high school friends. Who would have ever thought it all those years ago? Grown up and responsible adults doing grown up and responsible things. It staggers the imagination! Monday night I had dinner with another old high school friend. It was so fun to see her and catch up. She was one of my best friends when my dad passed away.

The nephews.

The nieces

The brother

Saturday, I had a chance to visit with my uncle and catch up with his family. Monday I visited with two more aunts and an uncle. I got to share with them the Mercy Ships video so they have a clue what’s going to take place. Sunday night, I visited with one of my favorite cousins and her husband. It was a pretty great trip. And the weather wasn’t so frigid that I had to be chipped away from ice! Not too shabby!

Yesterday, I said farewell until possibly my return from Africa. I may try to get up there one more time before the big adventure. It all depends on finances. I’m on a very tight budget from here on out. The adventure begins in just 129 days! It’s not a lot of time to get a lot accomplished. It’s going to be an amazing ride! I’m so happy and thankful I got to go home and see the family! God is always so good to me!

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20

the Mater project…

micey — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 10:10:51 +0000

Say hello to my little friend Mater. His formal name is Tow Mater. He is from the Disney movie Cars. I found him in a laundromat a couple of weeks ago. No, I did not take him from a child. He was left behind! I made sure nobody was looking for him!

As I’ve written before, I struggle with depression. I have been attending a support group for this problem. The group meets 6 times a year at my church. One of the assignments of the group is to have a hobby or a pet to help take my mind off of me and focus on something else. Well photographing Mater fits that bill nicely. And since I am called to missions, a pet is just not feasible. I can’t take a pet with me. But Mater can be my traveling buddy! So he gets to go with me to Africa! And like the paparazzi, I will photograph him wherever he goes. Heehee! You can follow his adventures on Instagram by following me, michelle 1_20. I’ll also try to let him make an appearance here from time to time, just for giggles.

His… Michelle
Philippians 1:20