1 John 4:20 If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? 21 And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.
There is just stuff about my personality that is fundamentally wrong. I think it must be from years of not knowing God and following Him. But how can it ever possibly change? I carry such bad feelings inside my heart. I don’t want to be snarky or sarcastic or cynical anymore. How can that go away? I can’t make it go away. If God doesn’t take it away from me, I’m afraid it will never go away. My friends tell me I’ve grown a lot and come a long way since they met me, but have I really? Or am I just putting on a good show for them?
Search my heart God! Find those things in me that need to be dealt with and destroyed. I don’t want to look at people I don’t like with contempt anymore. I want to look at them and be filled with compassion. How can I have the gift of mercy for some and not for all? How can I say I know you and love you and look at a man or woman with disgust? I am deceived. I say I have the love of the Father, but I still look at people with contempt and anger. Oh God, don’t let me stay this way! Teach me how to love the way you love. Break my heart with the things that break your heart. Please don’t let me ignore the marginal anymore. I used to see them and be filled with compassion. What’s happened to my heart?
His… Michelle
July 31st, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Ahhh Michelle, it all takes so much time, doesn’t it? But He is working – bit by bit, inch by inch.
I know just how you feel. I want it all perfect yesterday, but He keeps reminding me – His timing is always perfect. Just keep surrendering to Him daily and continue to watch Him work.
Have a blessed and beautiful day. And PRAISE GOD for the blessings of the class for OB – YAY – another great gift!
July 31st, 2011 at 5:32 pm
A flower doesn’t sprout and grow to maturity in one day…it takes the light of the sun and cool refreshing water poured over it consistently day after day to make it grow into the beautiful flower that was hidden within the seed. God makes all things beautiful in its time…flowers and people…all things. Perfection doesn’t take forever, it only takes a lifetime!
Your life is a beautiful display of God’s faithfulness, as He pours His grace and love into your life day after day, causing you to grow into the likeness of His Son…you are beautiful!
Charlotte/For Such A Time As This
August 4th, 2011 at 12:03 pm
I think it is only by letting the Holy Spirit be more in control of our lives that we can overcome these things. Like Kaye said, it takes time. And I agree with what the other Charlotte said too. You are an inspiration to so many. It is obvious God is working in your life.
Blessings,
Charlotte
August 6th, 2011 at 9:50 pm
I love the last paragraph. It reminds me of the bridge to the song Hosanna by Hillsong United. Such a beautiful prayer